All posts by Dr. Ken

Auditioned a new song for Donna today tentatively titled “The Frets on My Guitar”. (I know, another punny title, but you’ve come to expect that, right?)

It made us both cry so I guess it hit its target. She says it’s good. I even inserted some prurient jazz chords (m9, 6/9, etc.) I just have to find time to record it….

Here’s the lyric.

A million wrongs to a thousand souls, I cannot make them right.
Yet, in the silence of my mind, they wake me in the night.
Nocturnal worries, they compete for attention like baseball bats on cans.
The dissonant reminders of a million abandoned plans.
I’m forced at last to accept the obvious; I’ve peaked, there’s no going back.
I recognize the downward slide. It’s a biological fact.
I used to believe I lived in a world that was big enough for me.
Plenty of room to walk away rather than disagree.
Whenever I didn’t like where I was, I packed up and walked out of town.
But I’m older now and feel somehow that I may have walked clear around.
The land I’m in is scorched and bleak. It feels like I’ve been here before.
I never thought I’d be coming back searching for something more.
(chorus)
I don’t want to hide in the maze.
I don’t want to rant and rave;
Don’t really want to make waves,
But I will not waste a new day.
It’s too late for a family, too late for new friends and I’ve already forsaken the old ones.
Too many loose ends, too many pretends, too many “doings” and not enough “dones”.
Oh, what’s it like to be happy? I’ve never really known.
I don’t even know just what I want. I just know that I want to go home.
I don’t know what would fulfill me or whether it would last.
What is it I’ve still got to learn by dwelling on the past?
I am compelled to be dark, tragic and somber. I’ve never understood why.
Will I carry this feeling of impending doom until the day I die?
I’ll suffer and wither and fade and fail. A waste of this gift of life.
But every time I think to complain, I’m reminded that misery is rife.
In search of the undefinable, I circle endlessly.
Neither reaching conclusions nor self-discovery.
(chorus)
I don’t want to do what I’m good at…don’t know how to do anything else.
I’m too far away from my childhood and not close enough to myself.
I need the comfort of fellowship, but don’t know where to begin.
Hiding in verse is my usual way of getting out what’s in.
Some are driven to distraction, but drive IS the distraction for me.
I’ve been driving myself since I was a child ’cause I really don’t know what to be.
We toss & turn through unending nights and fret compulsively.
For, without struggle, we have no point. Still, we owe ourselves clemency.
So I meet with the dawn, leave the darkness behind and keep fixing what is broken
I’ll fight for my causes, accept wins and losses and isten as well as I’ve spoken.
I do believe we all feel these same feelings from time to time
We struggle, we cry, we win, we lose, we commiserate in rhyme.
(chorus)
I don’t want to die in a maze.
I don’t want to rant and rave.
I don’t really want to make waves.
But I will not waste a new day.
No, I will not waste a new day.
I. Will. Not. Waste. A. New. Day.
Today.

The South of France (pt 7 Saint Aygulf, Fréjus and Embarcation Beach)

Despite what one might think, there is a disadvantage to being in a south-facing balcony room on the Mediterranean Sea. There is absolutely no way to avoid the morning sun.

I awoke somewhere around 5:00AM to the full majesty of the sunrise and instantly knew my night was over. While I envied Donna’s ability to continue sleeping in morning light so bright I could see my skeleton in the mirror, I took a picture from the balcony before heading down to the beach.

DSC_0081_result_result

I crossed the street and walked down the shoulder to the sand…I was completely alone.

DSC_0085-DSC_0094_result_result

I grooved on the scene a while and even took a selfie before walking back to the hotel.

DSC_0103_result_result

DSC_0108_result_result

I returned to the room as Donna was waking up and told her how beautiful the beach was…and then I when down to the beach a second time with Donna (although the sun was now high in the sky).

DSC_0002-DSC_0014_result_result

After breakfast, we decided to backtrack to the east to see some places we’d had to skip in order to get to the hotel on time.

First, we visited Fréjus and it’s Roman ruins starting with its coliseum. But before we got to the coliseum, we found this memorial park just outside it that commemorates a catastrophic flood caused by a dam failure in December of 1959 resulting in 423 deaths in Fréjus and two nearby villages when the Malpasset Dam failed.

DSC_0015-DSC_0017_result_resultDSC_0018_result_result

 

We walked around the coliseum for quite a while. I was so fascinated by the structure/engineering and restoration activities that we didn’t take any pictures. So…here’s an overhead view from Google maps.

From the coliseum on the western side of Fréjus, we walked to the center of town just as the market was winding down and took some pictures of the spice vendor’s colorful wares.

 

DSC_0019_result_resultDSC_0023_result_result

We had a quick beverage at the local watering hole (some distance from the market to avoid those awful, loud American tourists) and then returned to the church square where the Roman museum and medieval cloister are located.

DSC_0024_result_resultDSC_0027-DSC_0034_result_result

The museum records various aspects of Roman life in Fréjus. Two nearly complete Roman homes were discovered under the remnants of newer buildings and much of the flooring and wall decorations survived. Here are two photos Donna took of a nearly perfectly preserved floor mosaic.

DSC_0035_result_resultDSC_0036_result_result

From the church square, we walked further east (and uphill) to the remains of the town’s Roman aqueduct which was built in the middle of the 1st century or roughly 1,900 to 1,950 years ago (!!). More incredible to me; it actually functioned (carried water to the city from over 20 miles away) for 450 years. Oh, and they didn’t wear out or break; they only failed because local farmers punched holes in them to irrigate their crops and villagers used the stone to build the medieval cities.

DSC_0038_result_resultDSC_0039_result_resultDSC_0040_result_resultDSC_0041_result_result

A short walk from the remains of the aqueduct and old roman city gates are the remains of the Roman amphitheater. To be fair, it’s not much to look at because there are modern aluminum bleachers built on top of the remaining stone structure because the facility is still in use.

DSC_0043_result_result DSC_0042_result_result

As we were walking back to the coliseum where we parked our car, we came across some people playing petanque (to me, it looks like the French version of bocci) so we stopped and watched for a little while. DSC_0046_result_result

From Fréjus, we backtracked further east to a memorial park called Embarcation Beach which commemorates the Allied landing that drove the Germans out of southern France in August of 1944 known as Operation Dragoon.

20140430_173411_result DSC_0054_resultDSC_0053_result

Next time: We take to the sea and visit San Tropez!

The South of France (pt 6 Vence, Antibes and L’Estéral)

I didn’t mention this in the previous installment, but Donna and I went to the Fondation Maeght (a modern art museum and gallery in St. Paul) on Monday, but we weren’t particularly impressed with it (no photos because we chose not to pay the photographers fee which was above and beyond the ticket price). There were two problems with the museum and gallery from my perspective: First, the museum was more focused on its architect than on the art (and all his buildings looked the same). Second…well, I don’t share the Maeght’s taste in art.

Anyway, Donna asked me what I wanted to do on Tuesday which was our last day in the Antibes/St. Paul/Vence area) and I said I wanted to see the Picasso museum in Antibes (because I’m more familiar with Picasso’s work and actually like it). So, we drove down to Antibes to visit his museum (it was known as the Grimaldi museum while he worked there for six months in 1946).

But, that wasn’t our first stop.

After we checked out of La Vague, we went to Vence because it was market day there. We wandered around a bit and decided to have a sandwich at a little shop before hitting the market for some snacks for the road.

We bought some cheese, dry sausages, bread and olives before doing some last-minute window shopping in this cute little town.

DSC_0002_result_result DSC_0023_result_result  DSC_0003_result_result DSC_0008_result_result DSC_0012_result_result DSC_0014_result_result DSC_0015-DSC_0016_result_result

This was one of the market vendors’ dog. One of very few we encountered that seemed to appreciate a little attention from a stranger.

DSC_0018_result_result

It was a hot day and just after lunch when we arrived at the museum in Antibes (which, of course, was closed during lunch-this is France after all). We stood in the sweltering sun in a long line of tourists wondering whether all this was worth it.

It was.

We couldn’t take pictures inside, but the sculpture garden along the sea wall was fair game. If you have the opportunity, I’d recommend visiting the Museé Picasso (but avoid the crowd if you can).

DSC_0038_result_result DSC_0042_result_result DSC_0043_result_result DSC_0044_result_result DSC_0045_result_result DSC_0048_result_result DSC_0049_result_result DSC_0051_result_result  DSC_0055_result_result DSC_0056_result_result DSC_0058_result_result DSC_0025_result_result DSC_0026_result_result DSC_0029_result_result DSC_0032_result_result DSC_0033_result_result DSC_0034_result_result DSC_0037_result_result

I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this piece. It seemed like a waste of a lot of guitars, but somehow, it appealed to me.

DSC_0053_result_result

After the museum, we headed west along the coast across L’Estérel (one of three mountain ranges that cross France and reach the Mediterranean). We needed to reach our next hotel in Saint Aygulf and were short on time, but made a brief stop at Cap Roux for some pictures.

No one was really able to tell us the origin of these structures, but we were sufficiently fascinated that we tried to research it ourselves and it’s still a mystery. Other than the lookout which was obviously more modern, they appear to be military structures from several different historic periods. The oldest were simple stone ramparts. Others were brick and mortar and still others were made of reinforced concrete more like WWII bunkers. I guess we’ll have to come back and take another look at it when we understand what it’s all about.

DSC_0078_result_resultDSC_0075_result_result DSC_0076_result_result  DSC_0061-DSC_0062_result_result IMG_1353_result_resultDSC_0063_result_result DSC_0064_result_result DSC_0065_result_result DSC_0066_result_result DSC_0068_result_result DSC_0069_result_result

I conquered my acrophobia long enough to hop up on the wall and look down at the cliff face and the sea beyond (OK, that’s long enough).

DSC_0072_result_result

Off we went to Saint Aygulf and our budget-friendly hotel for a delicious, but low-budget evening meal on the balcony.

IMG_1357_result_result

I posted this on my Facebook page before, but here again is the brochure-friendly photo I took from the balcony and then the wide shots to show the construction site across the road between us and the beach. C’est la vie.

BTW, notice that the top of the crane is pivoting freely in the wind. Apparently, the crew felt it unnecessary to lock it down for the night.

IMG_1354_result_result IMG_1355_result_result IMG_1356_result_result

Despite my good-natured ribbing about the hotel, out hosts were very friendly and helpful and I would gladly stay there again.

Next time: Dawn and sunset in St. Aygulf, Roman ruins in Fréjus and Embarkation Beach.

The South of France 2014 (pt 5 Juan-Les-Pins 4/28/14)

On Monday, Donna and I decided we’d drive around Antibes to the other side of the pennisula to Juan les Pins. We drove out as far as we could and parked at the beach which was also the beginning of the cliff trail that continued far longer than we had time to explore, so we hiked out as far as could and then retreated to the beach bar for refreshments. 😉

DSC_0389_resultDSC_0390-DSC_0398_resultDSC_0400-DSC_0405_resultDSC_0399_resultDSC_0406_resultDSC_0407_result DSC_0408_result

The French concept of public safety is somewhat different than what you might be accustomed to. Loosely translated, the sign says ‘don’t go any further or the wind and sea will wash you away and you’ll die’.

DSC_0409_result

DSC_0410_result DSC_0411_result DSC_0419_result DSC_0422_result DSC_0427_result DSC_0430_result DSC_0431_result DSC_0436_result DSC_0439_result DSC_0440_result DSC_0443_result

As we were relaxing at the beach with our respective beverages, a rainbow magically appeared and a sailboat lazily floated across it.

DSC_0448_result DSC_0453_resultDSC_0460_result

For comic relief, a male seagull was attempting to impress a female with a tennis ball (I’m sure he thought it was a premium sea urchin). He kept offering it to her and then rolling it towards  her. She was either smarter than he was or already had a better offer.

DSC_0477_result DSC_0466_result

Next stop: Antibes and the Picasso museum.

 

BEFORE EVENING FADES
Doctor Ken (c) Ken Miller 2014
June 6, 2014

I find my views changing over the years
Not so unlike those of my peers.
Trust is eroding and far less abundant
Pundit? Incumbent? It all seems redundant.

Is the world so much different or is it just me?
I thought growing older would start making things easy.
I feel like I’m struggling now more than ever
And it’s not enough for me just to be clever.

There’s a paradox of political power
And a reason why leaders so often go sour.
Candidates are rewarded for glossy perfection.
Why are we shocked when they lie after election?

I am falling into a timeless abyss
And this sense of foreboding I cannot dismiss.
Battered and tired, but my mind still rages.
Courageous or outrageous, I hope it’s contagious.

The view is quite narrow from under a rock.
It all looks the same
From the dove to the hawk,
The geek and the jock,
The shepherd, his flock,
The sneer and the gawk,
The slam and the knock,
The toe and the sock,
The walk and the talk,
The boat and the dock,
Van Halen and Bach.

So, crawl out (if you can) and look cross the land.
We’re all smart enough to build a new plan.
The world’s too small to just draw the shades.
You’ve got to get out there before evening fades.

The South of France (pt 4: Biot and Ken’s Quiet Day 4/27/14)

 

I asked Donna for one day to myself to do nothing but lounge on the terrace of our hotel and Sunday wasn’t exactly the perfect day to do it, but…this was my soggy view from my chilly perch.

The view from the terrace on a cold and soggy Sunday morning.
The view from the terrace on a cold and soggy Sunday morning.

Meanwhile…Donna was in the village of Biot.

These are the pictures of the town that Donna took while walking around/shopping: DSC_0354_result DSC_0353_result DSC_0348_result DSC_0345_result DSC_0341_result DSC_0340_result DSC_0338_result DSC_0337_result DSC_0336_result DSC_0335_result DSC_0329_result DSC_0386_result Biot13_result DSC_0357_result I am jealous that Donna claims she had one of the best lunches of our trip on the afternoon she went out on her own. I assume it tasted as good as it looks. Biot 2_result Biot 5_result Finally, here are some pictures she took with the cellphone of some of the glass pieces on display.

Biot 7_result
Vroom, vroom!

Biot11_result Biot10_result

After Donna returned from Biot, we made a brief visit to Antibes and walked on the path above the marina and below the castle.

Antibes 2 Antibes 1

The South of France (pt 3 later that day)

Someone suggested we visit Tourettes sur Loup near St. Paul de Vence because it is an equally beautiful, but lessor known village. Since we had a rental car, we decided to check it out and were not disappointed. This is a much more authentic snapshot of daily life for the people who live in the South of France. Sure, there were a few tourists (besides us) and businesses that catered to them/us, but compared to St. Paul de Vence, Tourettes sur Loup was quiet and tranquil.

We took a picture of the map at the entrance to the old village because neither of us had ever heard of it before and we were likely to forget.

DSC_0297_result_result
Map of the Old (Vieux) Village of Tourettes sur Loup

Here are a few pictures from around town.

DSC_0299_result_result DSC_0300_result_result DSC_0301_result_result DSC_0302_result_result DSC_0304_result_result DSC_0305_result_result DSC_0306_result_result DSC_0307_result_result DSC_0310_result_result DSC_0311_result_resultDSC_0314_result_resultDSC_0324_result_result DSC_0322_result_result

We wanted to capture this woman’s image as she casually read her magazine outside her home (with her cat on the window ledge behind her).

DSC_0312_result_result

We noticed this archway and stair that seemed to lead away from the town before we saw the sign that indicated there was a scenic overlook.

DSC_0316_result_result

We were not disappointed….

DSC_0317_result_result DSC_0318_result_result DSC_0319_result_result DSC_0320_result_result

How friggin’ cute is this?

DSC_0321_result_result

We stopped into a fabric shop and encountered this afghan puppy. He was very shy, but so cute as he weighed his curiosity and his fear of strangers (alternately approaching and then backing away when we made eye contact). Donna was much more successful engaging him than I was (this is unusual and noteworthy).

DSC_0325_result_result DSC_0326_result_result DSC_0327_result_result DSC_0328_result_result

That’s all for now. Stay tuned for the next installment (Biot and my day off).

Thanks,

Ken (& Donna)

The South of France 2014 (pt 2 St. Paul de Vence 4/26/14)

So…we’ve arrived at a hotel called La Vague de St. Paul and drove about 10 miles to the town of Saint Paul de Vence which is located here:

We parked in a modern parking garage just outside the village at its northern end and walked through the gate and inside the city wall. I took this first picture outside the wall in the square outside a café. You can’t tell from this picture, but the village is on top of a hill and the vistas are spectacular.

Outside the city walls of St. Paul de Vence, France.
Outside the city walls of St. Paul de Vence, France.

As I mentioned before, the cemetery (which is located at the southern end of the village) is the final resting place of Marc Chagall. We got thirsty on our way there and had a little liquid refreshment. Belgian beer and sweet (soft) cider.

St. Paul de Vence 3_result

Fortified, we walked to the cemetery.

DSC_0116_result_result

DSC_0103_result_result DSC_0105_result_result DSC_0111_result_result

DSC_0118_result_result DSC_0110_result_result

Here is Marc Chagall’s grave.

Marc Chagall's Grave
Marc Chagall’s Grave

Did I mention the tremendous vistas?

DSC_0148-DSC_0184_result_result DSC_0185-DSC_0192_result_result

St. Paul de Vence 2_result St. Paul de Vence 1_result

There is a little chapel in the cemetery, but it was locked so I had to take this picture between the bars on the window.

Chapel
Chapel

Next to the cemetery was an abandoned orange grove. Unfortunately, we couldn’t simply wander over there and help ourselves. The fruit looks ripe and the air was thick with the smell of orange blossoms.

DSC_0117_result_result

Here are a few pictures of the town.

DSC_0214_result_result DSC_0212_result_result DSC_0206_result_result DSC_0200_result_result DSC_0193_result_result DSC_0145_result_result DSC_0140_result_result DSC_0135_result_result DSC_0133_result_result DSC_0130_result_result DSC_0121_result_result DSC_0113_result_result

We had lunch at a small café on a quiet street away from the crowds called Le Caruso. The food was awesome!

DSC_0285_result_result DSC_0284_result_result DSC_0282_result_result

I love the juxtaposition of the cat door casually installed into the existing medieval door.

DSC_0141_result_result

Well, that’s all for now. Stay tuned for Donna’s pictures as she visits Biot and the glass studios while I lounge in the hotel on a rainy day.

The South of France 2014 (pt 1 4/20 – 4/25)

This year’s trip to France began with a train ride from Providence, RI to Boston, MA and then a cab to Logan Airport. We flew from Boston to Munich and then to Marseilles.

We arrived in Marseilles in the early afternoon, picked up our rental car and drove to our first hotel in La Ciotat on the coast about thirty minutes to the southeast of Marseilles.

We walked around the town of La Ciotat, but didn’t take any pictures with the 35mm camera (don’t know why; too tired probably). Anyway, La Ciotat is typical of small coastal towns on the Riviera; packed with tourists, ridiculously overpriced and staffed by people who know they’ll never see you again…but I digress.

La Ciotat is beautiful in an almost subliminal way. If you blindfolded me, dropped me in the middle of the waterfront and asked me where I was, I couldn’t be sure. Not because I’d never been there, but because all the coastal villages I’ve been to look very similar to me. (I know they don’t look similar to the people who live there or anyone claiming to have a more worldly sense than I do, but I’m just a stupid American in the South of France…with a Visa card.)

We spent the night in La Ciotat at the (no shit) Best Western hotel right on the waterfront. The view from the room was lovely (see below), but we had no luck with restaurants (cold, bland food).

France 2014 pt 1
La Ciotat Harbor, France

On Tuesday, we drove about 2 hours west from La Ciotat to La Grande Motte (near Montpellier) for my conference (the real reason for the trip).

 

Here’s a view of the harbor from our balcony.

DSC_0094_result_result
La Grande Motte, France

While I chaired a session on transdermal delivery Wednesday, Donna visited the town of St. Guilhem le Désert.

DSC_0004_result_result DSC_0007_result_result DSC_0009_result_result DSC_0015_result_result DSC_0028_result_result DSC_0029_result_result

St. Guilhem le Désert
St. Guilhem le Désert

On the way back to La Grande Motte, Donna stopped in the salt marsh (Camargue) to take this photo of flamingos feeding.

Flamingos feeding in La Camargue
Flamingos feeding in La Camargue

While I was at the meeting on Thursday, Donna visited the markets in L’Ile sur la Sorgue, but was captivated by these poppies growing wild in the parking lot before she even got there.

DSC_0046_result_result DSC_0047_result_result DSC_0050_result_result

DSC_0052_result_result
Wild Poppies in L’Ile sur la Sorgue

Thursday evening I played at the evening Gala Event during the cocktail hour at a beautiful venue called Domaine des Moures just west of La Grande Motte.

DSC_0093_result_resultDSC_0091_result_result

DSC_0090_result_result
Domaine des Moures, Villeneuve-lès-Maguelone

As many of you know, this has been a year of transition for me and this particular performance was a nexus in the sense that I was playing for people I’ve been acquainted with for over twenty years, but only a few of them knew I was a musician.

My thanks to Alphavisa (Michel and Delphine) as well as Keith Brain and Ken Walters for pulling this together for me by renting the two guitars and coordinating with the DJ to set up the PA system before my arrival. All I had to bring across the pond was a little kit with strings, picks, etc.

DSC_0082_result_result DSC_0080_result_result DSC_0076_result_result DSC_0075_result_result DSC_0069_result_result

After the conference ended on Friday, we did some laundry and then headed back east to Saint Paul de Vence near Nice (another three-hour drive to the east). In addition to being a beautiful hilltop Medieval village with steep, narrow winding cobblestone streets, St. Paul de Vence is the final resting place of Marc Chagall.

I’ll try to get the next installment posted in a few days. The photos from St. Paul de Vence, Vence, Antibes, Ste. Maxime and San Tropez are worth the wait.

Thanks,

Ken

Well, tomorrow I make my international début here in the south of France. The organizers have rented two guitars for me (12-string and 6-string acoustics) so I didn’t have to fly mine over, All I had to bring were picks, capo and harmonicas.

I’m pretty comfortable with my sets. Lots of my favorite tunes. Hoping to get everybody in a good mood. Thinking happy thoughts.

Bonne nuit mes amis.

Hey, I’m going to perform in France later this month.

All I need to do is get someone to capture video on their cell phone and I can call myself an international recording artist.

Don’t worry though. I won’t let this turn me into an arrogant jagoff.

I’ve added the two songs I wrote in 2004. These songs mark a transition for me into material of higher production standards, but fewer ‘simulated’ instruments. So, if you had the feeling that the earlier songs left something to be desired in terms of professional qualities, I would agree.

Check them out if you have the chance. I’d appreciate that.

“Photographic Memory”: The names have been changed to protect me.
“My Greatest Fear”: The most personal and stark autobiographical song I’ve ever written about the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me.

Meanwhile at WVU

There is one anecdote about WVU that I haven’t yet shared: In Chapter 8 I wrote about my trip to California on a Triumph Bonneville, but I didn’t explain what happened back home in my absence.

Although I timed that trip to coincide with spring break, graduate students don’t get spring break off (or vacation of any kind, for that matter). True, there are no classes, but that doesn’t mean the university is closed or the labs are inaccessible. We were still expected to continue our work (or actually accelerate our pace given that we weren’t going to class that week). Nonetheless, I decided to take the week off.

I did not have a particularly amiable relationship with my advisor and chose not to tell him I was leaving town. I just figured I’d do whatever damage control was necessary when I got back.

My roommate and my friends/lab mates joked that they were going to tell my advisor that I really was there and if he was looking for me, they’d say “he was just here a minute ago, you just missed him” or “I think he’s at [a location that you are not]”.

I thought they were just pulling my leg, but when I got back, my roommate told me they HAD actually lied to my advisor all week and he really DIDN’T know I’d been gone.

I’m still not 100% sure they really did this, but I never mentioned it to my advisor and he gave no indication that he knew I’d been gone, so I left well enough alone.

Today, I sat down at my kit for the first time in months. So much fun; I think I’ll do it again tomorrow.

Chapter Ten: Alone No More

Continued from Chapter 9: Caves, Crashes and Cocktails

It would be more than fair to say I had embarked on a new phase of my life. After many years of studying and being alone, I was again dating (although I hadn’t gotten any better at it).

Donna and I found we were very different in some ways, but very similar in others.

She was a preppie, politically conservative, catholic, liberal arts and sciences major from New England and I was a freaky, geeky, liberal, atheist, biker, punk engineer from Pittsburgh.

Our first pet names for each other were “Spike” and “Muffy”.

My wardrobe consisted entirely of turf shoes/steel-toed boots, Wrangler jeans (full-length or cut off), tube socks and a Fruit Of The Loom pocket T (with or without a second-hand flannel shirt). Donna added wool sweaters, cotton turtlenecks, khakis (full-length or hemmed shorts), polo shirts and boat shoes.

For my part, I tried to steer her away from neon colors, plaid, alligator appliqués, owl glasses and high-waisted pants.

It took a few years, but we met somewhere in the middle (no doubt aided by the welcome demise of the fashion-challenged eighties). For example, I still wear the occasional turtleneck sweater and she has adopted a more muted color pallet.

On our first true date together, we had a cookout at Cooper’s Rock State Forest outside Morgantown. Donna made honey mustard chicken and brought something for dessert, but that’s not really what I remember about that day.

My memories are mostly associated with the awkward dance two strangers perform while trying to do something together for the first time.

  • We stumbled through the process of loading a grill with charcoal briquettes and igniting them without singeing our hair and eyebrows after each of several doses of starter fluid.
  • The choice of cutlery (does one eat coleslaw with a fork and baked beans with a spoon or is it the other way around?).
  • When is it OK to start eating?
  • Do we sit side-by-side at the picnic table or across from one another?

The other memory I have of that date is being harassed by yellow jackets. I’ve never bothered much about bees and wasps and I don’t fear them. I had survived perfectly well up until that point using the strategy ‘if you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you’, but this day was different. We had shooed them away from our sweet bbq concoction once or twice, but then they decided they liked the smell of my hair better. I’m a little uncertain of the details, but I think I’d used a fresh bottle of shampoo and conditioner that day (men still used conditioner back then). For reasons I can no longer explain, I used “Herbal Essences” products and these must have been particularly appealing to this colony of yellow jackets.

Mind you, I was trying to be cool, but this was made more difficult than usual by the swarm of yellow jackets that seemed to be intoxicated by the smell of my hair. It got so bad that we nearly left before the chicken was cooked, but as the sunlight faded, so did the yellow jackets’ interest in my choice of personal grooming products. Somehow, we’d both managed to avoid getting stung.

Another early date I recall was October 25th, 1987. On this Sunday, we were driving aimlessly through the mountains of West Virginia. These were areas that Donna knew better than I did. She took me to a place called Coolsprings Park on Rt. 50 in Rowlesburg that had a collection of livestock, antique machinery, railroad cars, and a general store.

I was entranced by the seemingly endless collection of antique derelict farm machinery and rail cars. I spent what seemed like hours poring over every lever, rod and pulley to work out what each one did.

Eventually, we decided we’d better go check out the general store before they closed and rushed over to find a sign indicating they would close in ten minutes. We split up and started browsing figuring they’d ask us to leave or turn off the lights or whatever, but they never did.

When we finally got to the cash register and mentioned that we thought the store would have closed by now, the clerk said ‘we don’t close until 6:00’. Donna and I looked at each other quizzically because that was nearly an hour ago. Then we both realized that we’d forgotten to change our watches that day (back to Standard Time) and had been so . We had been so enchanted with each other’s company all day that we didn’t realize we had been given the gift of an extra hour together.

Cool Springs Park

Without going into unnecessary detail, the first night that Donna failed to make me go home was the last time I did. In other words, “I came for the night and I never went  home”.

All of this was wonderful and romantic, but it wasn’t very sound economically. My roommate Tom had graduated and moved out. Our three bedroom house now had only two occupants and that made me responsible for half of the rent, but I no longer lived there. I lived with Donna in a mobile home built during the Nixon Administration. Now, I could have found someone else to assume my portion of the rent and move in with Ox, but if this love affair with Donna porpoised into the Sun, I wanted to have someplace to run to. In truth, I did run there once or twice, but somehow we kept going through the rest of 1987 and into 1988.

By the middle of the spring semester of 1988, it was apparent that I would be graduating either that summer or at the end of the fall term, but I had no intention of staying at WVU for my PhD. I came to do research in surface science and colloid chemistry, but ended up working in fluidization engineering because there were no funded projects in my chosen area. After 2 years, the situation was the same, so it was time for me to look for a another place to continue my education.

Donna and I looked at the various programs where on-going surface science and colloid research programs existed and eventually narrowed it down to two universities: Oklahoma and Florida.

vs. 

I didn’t really know anything about either place, so we did some research and spoke to some faculty members at each university and still couldn’t really pick a clear favorite until…. Donna put it succinctly: Oklahoma University is in Oklahoma and the University of Florida is in Florida.

oklahoma-tornado vs.

Hmm. Good point. UF it is.

Read the next exciting installment Chapter 11: The Sunshine State